Moms who have had C-sections, myself included, get defensive when talking about it. I was wondering why I always feel that I must explain why the first was an emergency (read about the birth of my first here) and that the ones following were necessary due to the first. I always feel that if I don’t justify the surgery (as if surgeries need to be justified), I will be considered “less of a mom”.
I can’t speak for everyone else, but I always felt that others would look down on me for not being able to have a “natural” birth. As if creating life and carrying it for 9 months isn’t natural enough.
A few weeks ago, Kate Hudson was interviewed in a magazine and was quoted saying the laziest thing she’s ever done was have a C-section. Now, I don’t know if she said that in jest or if she was serious but that created an online war. Some moms who have delivered naturally took her words seriously and started talking about how it is so lazy to have a C-section and how it’s the “easy way out” and moms who have had C-sections automatically felt the need to either hide or come out swinging.
Let me tell you, from personal experience …. having a C-section is definitely NOT the easy way out. I’m not saying that delivering vaginally is a walk in the park. I know it hurts … a lot. But how can you say that having surgery in order to deliver your child is EASY?! Your body gets sliced so many layers deep and while you have the spinal tap to numb you (more painful than an epidural needle by the way), you can still feel so much. Tugging, pulling, stretching, yanking … it is anything but painless.
When your child is born, you spend a few seconds with the baby and they take him away in order to suture you. In some countries they use stitches, but in some places they still close up a C-section using STAPLES. Ouch. Even if you don’t suffer from an infection on your scar, which so many do, the healing process is extremely painful.
When you try to nurse your baby and your uterus contracts it hurts like hell because its been sliced open and has fresh sutures holding it together. You walk around hunched over and for at least the first few days you need to hold on to something while you walk as you can’t stand up straight due to the stitches in your stomach. Standing up from a seated position takes FOREVER and is severely painful because you can’t use your stomach muscles sp pulling yourself up is excruciating. Same for when you’re laying down and need to get up. For the first few WEEKS after having my C-section I slept sitting up, propped up by pillows. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to get up to my crying newborn to feed him in the middle of the night.
Having a baby, whichever way you deliver, is NOT easy. It’s painful before, it’s painful during, and it’s painful afterwards.
We need to stop putting each other down. Stop making other moms feel like they aren’t good enough, that they aren’t enough of a mom. We are all trying our best. We are all struggling but in different ways. We should be helping each other and making each other stronger.